Adoption & Foster Care

In The Hard Places, When You Want to Hide – Don’t.

I’ve found myself in the hard place.

The place where hard, painful decisions have to be made.

The place where the committed part of me is at war with the exhausted part of me.

The place where it’s easy to quit, understandable if you give up and the idea of “normal” seems like paradise.

In this place, I wanted to hide, to be alone, to run off to a corner and lick my wounds.

Thankfully, an awesome group of friends encircled me and reminded me that it’s time to practice what I preach. In the midst of the hard place, where being alone would have been easier than having the hard conversations about my struggles, fears and failures, a dear friend texted me with these exact words:

“…As a leader, we have to model what we teach. We can’t live in isolation and then tell everyone else to be in community. It’s okay for people to see us suffer, struggle and even fail.”¬†

Friends. Those priceless people who walk beside us on the journey to encourage us when we’re down, tell us the truth even when it hurts and fill in the gaps when we have nothing left to give. We all need them. I need them.

In the hard place, it’s been difficult to let others do what I feel like is “my responsibility” to handle. Transportation, appointments, phone calls, logistical issues and hard conversations with me and with others. In this hard place, it’s been¬†hard for me to sit still and let others take the reigns, quarterback decisions and hold me accountable to walking the talk.

Like a splinter under the skin, digging under the surface in the hard place hurts. But, we have to get the splinter out before the skin can heal.

I get emails all the time from people who read my blog and are inspired, helped and encouraged in their hard places. It’s easy to write about the successes, the things that work really well and the sweetness of love. It’s hard to write about the other side – the hard side. The truth is, it’s difficult to give directions to a place you’ve never been and if you’ve never felt the dark place, how can you tell someone else what it feels like?

So, the biggest lesson in my life right now is this – – In the hard places where you want to hide – don’t. Trust me. We need each other – the only real way forward isn’t alone – it’s together.

As I was closing out this post, I received a notification on Facebook with a “God wants you to know…” message. I don’t always click on them, but this time I did…. you can’t plan this stuff! Don’t do it alone.

I’d love to hear from you… what do you do in your hard places?

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