More About Me...

I am a wife, mother, follower of Jesus and friend. I live life by faith and understand that God's plans for me are always better than any plans I can have for myself. I don't consider myself a writer, but I love to write. I blog about my experiences, my passions, my thoughts and my failures. It all matters to me, but only some of it may matter to you. Enjoy.

Just a Little More...

My tagline is significant to me because I truly believe that "the rest is still unwritten" - I've learned to simply live each day with gratitude and happiness. You really, honestly don't ever know what tomorrow holds. So, just enjoy the journey.

Even So, It is Well With My Soul…

For several weeks now I’ve been struck by a verse of scripture out of Daniel, Chapter 3:15-18 (NLT). In these verses, King Nebbie (as Veggie Tales so fondly calls him) has called Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego before him because he’s received reports that they will not bow to the images of himself that he has built through his kingdom. He throws down the challenge, “…if you won’t bow you’ll be thrown in the fiery furnace…” and then he gives the statement that makes me think, “Oh, no you didn’t!” every time I read it, “...and then what god will be able to rescue you from my power?” Even though I think I would have had to resort to the finger snap, the heroes of our story say something that I can’t get out of my head lately, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” I like to read that in the tone of voice that my teenagers sometimes respond to me with, eye rolling and all - it just gives me pleasure because we all know the end of the story. God does rescue them from the fiery furnace and puts ol’ Nebbie in his place. But, that’s not why this verse has captured my spirit lately.

Fiery Furnace

What our heroes said is this, “You can throw us in the furnace and our God will rescue us, but even if he doesn’t we still won’t bow to your gods or your image.” While it is true that God rescued them from the furnace, it’s also true that at the moment they spoke these words they had no way of knowing whether or not He would. How many times have we been in this very place? Dealing with sickness, a wayward child, a job loss, a difficult decision? In those moments what’s always hard is the faith & doubt combination - and the guilt that follows. It’s almost as if the enemy wins because the minute we need our faith the most, we spend more of our time beating ourselves up for not having it then we do walking in it.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always felt guilty for having thoughts like those voiced in this story. I pray things like this, “God I know you are a healing God and, Jesus, by your stipes I am healed” and then I think thoughts like this, “But what if He doesn’t heal me..” and then I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I tell myself that having those types of thoughts is doubt and, so to combat it, I dig my heels deeper and repeat again - all of the scripture and promises that I’ve long since memorized about healing. Then, again, that small voice whispers, “What if He doesnt…” Cycle repeat after repeat.

What I’ve come to realize in the past few weeks is that the “doubt” that I’m so concern about really is just a tactic of the enemy to keep me distracted from walking out the faith that God intends for me to have. And, that faith is this…”I believe God will heal me, but even so…. I’ll will still love Him, obey His Word and keep focused on what He’s given me to do.” If we really study the New Testament, we’ll discover that Jesus and his disciples didn’t stop what they were doing and pray a dozen faith-based prayers when someone was healed. People were simply healed as they went about their business - as Jesus passed by, as Peter & Paul were on their way to the temple, as Jesus was preaching, etc, etc.

Too often, we forget that the power of faith is that we ask it, believe it and trust God to do it - meaning that we can move on in life and not let the enemy cause us to stall in a cycle of belief - doubt - guilt - belief - doubt - guilt, on and on. The real victory comes when, even in the midst of our sorrow, we can say, “even so, it is well with my soul” and keep moving forward with God, no matter the cost. I’ve learned to love the way Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were able to say with full faith, “God will save us, but even if He doesn’t - it doesn’t matter, He is still the only God in whom we will trust.

As I’ve pondered this verse of scripture in the last few weeks, I’ve not been able to get the song It is Well With My Soul out of my head. The lyrics to the song are a perfect illustration of this kind of faith, but they are that way because the writer endured unspeakable tragedy in his life yet continued to trust God. I’ve added the link to the story of this song below, I encourage you to watch it - you’ll never forget it.

As for me, it is well with my soul.

A Hidden Treasure

I was cleaning out my couponing/office space tonight and came across the Mother’s Day gift that Kristan gave me last year. It, once again, brought tears to my eyes. She spent so much time putting this together and it will always be among my most precious possessions

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It’s a simple valentine candy heart box filled to the brim with typed memories that she has of me. Every time I open it I’m reminded that my love for her and hers for me is a hidden treasure that we carry with us always. I am also always reminded thy we never know when our kids are truly paying attention to our words and actions. Some of these memories that she typed out are years old and of seemingly insignificant events that she holds dear in her heart.

Here’s just a few:
“I remember when I was organizing my bookcase when I was suppose to be cleaning my room back in Pegram. You were right next to me looking through some of the books scattered on the floor. Daddy was fixing the bathroom before he saw my room. He had criticized my cleaning methods by saying that I’d made an even bigger mess than there was to begin with. But you saved the day by making your world-famous statement: ‘well, sometimes you have to make a mess to clean a mess.’”

“I love how you and daddy are always showing each other how much you love each other. Although I’ve been known to make an ugly face when you guys kiss, I still think it’s sweet”

“I remember when you first showed me that online picture of Heather, we were both so happy.”

“I remember the day in Cary when you would lie in the hammock. I would interrupt your reading/dozing off - but we had such good conversations.”

It’s so touching to read memory after memory that she took time to write down and to realize that in moments when I didn’t even realize it I was touching her heart.

Of course there are also those memories that she could have left out:

“I remember in North Carolina you were driving me to school. I told you to slow down, but you, being as stubborn as you were, wouldn’t listen to me. When I came home from school, I found out that you’d gotten your first speeding ticket on that very spot in the road. You should’ve listened.”

It’s just such a wonderful reminder to treasure every little moment with your kids because you never know what they are keeping hidden in their hearts.

It Makes a Momma Proud

Just taking a moment to brag on our youngest baby girl, Heather. We got this voicemail from one of her teachers today - it definitely makes a momma proud. We love you Heather Hope! :-)

Click on the link below to listen:

Heather’s 7th Grade Teacher Bragging on Her

God Hates Morning Prayer

morning prayer

Well, not literally, but I’m sure He dislikes what many Christians have turned it into - their only time during the day that they think about Him, or talk to Him. Don’t get me wrong, I think having a devoted time that’s set aside to spend one-on-one with God is awesome. Honestly, I wish I were more consistent in that area.

I see so many people who set this standard for themselves of “I have to spend XXX minutes/hours with God in the morning to be *really* holy” and then they fail to meet it and beat themselves up because their “relationship with God isn’t where it should be.” I’m sure God appreciates their effort and would love to have a daily morning date, but I just really feel like He’d much rather be on a lifetime date - inseparable.

While I do believe that setting aside a disciplined time in the morning for prayer can be a great thing and really go a long way in developing us as Christ-followers, I don’t think it should be the “ubber-goal” of a Christian’s life. The reason is when we set “morning prayer” as our only goal in an “ultimate” relationship with Christ we fail to pursue an ongoing conversation.

It’s like this, I love my husband with all my heart and, after 17 years of marriage, I’m just as in love with him today as I was 20 years ago when we met. I can’t imagine that our relationship would have ever gotten off the ground, much less lasted through 17 years of marriage and three daughters, if we only talked once a day for an hour. And, I think I would have fired our marriage counselor had his advice to us been to schedule a morning meeting of 30 minutes to an hour (or longer, if needed) to discuss life, our relationships, the kids, finances, things that are bothering us, relationships with others, work, traffic, ….. you get the point. It simply wouldn’t have worked.

If it won’t work in marriage, why do we think it will work in our most important relationship - our relationship with God? Simply put, it won’t. It can’t. If “morning prayer” is the ubber-goal in our relationship with God, we’re set up for failure from the start. Instead, we should be taught that, just like marriage, relationship and intimacy with God is a result of an ongoing conversation. Sure, there can - and should - be times of dedicated one-on-one time (dates, if you will) but more often than that should be the quick converstations, updates and concerns of our day.

…. oh wow, thank you for helping me get to work on time.

…. I need you to give me some wisdom on how to talk to my friend about her marriage. What should I say?

…. that conversation I just had with my daughter didn’t go so well, what did I do wrong? How can I make it better?

…. my long-distance family is going through something right now, I can’t be there, but you are.. can you protect them and provide?

…. my husband has a doctors appointment and I’m really concerned.. here’s what worries me….

For me, this is where real intimacy happens for both my marriage and in my relationship with God - through the mundane aspects of my life that I take the time - throughout my day - to stop and communicate.

Yes, if 30 minutes in the morning is the only time God hears from us, I think He probably does hate morning prayer…

… but He loves having an ongoing conversation.

Journey to Sierra Leone: Day 5 - Part 2

Walking through Kroo Bay, I was completely surprised by the number of children hanging around. It was the middle of the day and hundreds of children roamed around, most with baskets or bowls of items on their heads for sell. Those that weren’t selling were too young and just roamed around, seemingly unattended by any adult. I had never understood child labor until I saw it in Sierra Leone first-hand. The shear number of children, as young as 6, selling things to make money for their families was unsettling.  Most of these children were war-orphans who have settled in Kroo Bay with adults who took them in – in a lot of cases, the reason for taking them in was to put them to work to help provide for the household.

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In what seemed like the very heart of Kroo Bay is another part of the trash-filled river with a bridge walkway to cross. It is upon this river, filled with trash & pigs, that the brightest beam of hope in Kroo Bay sits - the Sandra Hairston Literacy Center. As we began to cross the bridge the sounds of children singing could be heard coming from a small building sitting right at the water’s edge.  It was one of the most surreal moments of my life. Crossing this bridge in the heart of poverty and squalor the likes of which I’d never before experienced, only to hear the sweetest sound of a chorus of African children’s voices singing praises to God. I’ll never forget the feeling of hope and true awe that I felt at that moment.

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We stepped off of the walkway back onto the muddy ground and made our way onto the small porch area of the school. Awaiting us on the porch were several of the Kroo Bay council members, dressed in formal African attire, beautiful robes and hats and the school’s headmaster. The porch was divided into two sections with one whole side sectioned off by a piece of cloth to make an additional classroom.

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The building that houses the school is very small, in whole about the size of our family’s two-car garage. The inside was divided into four separate classrooms based on the ages of the students with two classrooms operating on the front and back covered porch areas of the building. In all, about 200 students attend the Literacy school.
That morning, as we had loaded up the jeeps to travel to Kroo Bay, Joan had handed me a handwritten paper by the school’s headmaster, intended to give me the background of the school.

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I can find no better words than those he wrote, I will re-type it for you here:

Documentary Sandra Hairston Literacy Center, Kroo Bay, Freetown, Short History, Present Status and Its Impact

Sandra Hairston Literacy Center is located within the Kroo Bay community. Kroo Bay is one of the well-known slums within the Freetown Municipality with little or no infrastructural development such as pipeborne water, educational facilities, electricity, improved housing system, road network and a general poor surrounding. The general outlook of the slum is tantamount to a village setting. Poverty of the people is a matter of great concern.

Kroo Bay holds approximately ten thousand residents mostly muslims that hailed from different parts of Sierra Lone. The Kroo ethnic group of Sierra Leone were the first to settle or inhabit and as fishermen, built sheds to continue their fishing activities. Later, other ethnic groups joined in, more so during the rebel incursion with little or no hopes of returning to their places of origin.

Sandra School was established in 2006 with twenty-six registered kids under the supervision of Madam Rogers, the voluntary teacher then. The establishment of the school can be traced far back following the Joshua International Ministries’ Campaigns to train children in the gospel as commanded by God in Proverbs 22:6. During this era, the desire was expressed to introduce a non-formal school system for the less fortunate kids residing in the slum. The school became Sandra Hairston Literacy Center for the Underprivileged Children – children whose parents do not have the opportunity to send them to the normal school system. Majority of these kids do not live with their biological parents and engaged in some form of child labour. No government aid is directed towards the education of the acclaimed children.

As an integral part of Joshua International Ministries, Sandra School is based on Christian principals, providing both educational and spiritual reliefs. An hours Bible teachings followed by basic building blocks of learning to read and write including numerical skills form the basis of the programme. These skills are interwoven that children can do to build a formidable foundation upon which future learning will be well meaning. Although still grappling with the problem of accommodation, therefore shifting from one place to another, Sandra School is fast gaining popularity.

Over the years, the school has incurred remarkable improvement. The population of children and teachers have increased – over two hundred children and six teaching staff. The school functions on a daily basis like any school in the country between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. with the normal school syllabus considered.

It is shared concern that education in a slum like Kroo Bay is often a strange phenomenon and therefore cannot succeed because the people are poor and not enlightened. However, the school is confirming this beyond all reasonable doubt that the school will stand firm to help the children acquire their God-given rights (education) to better their lives and to know God. It is therefore interesting to note that the school is progressing and therefore make lee-way in the slum. The school has become to be viewed as a golden opportunity by those in the slum as a golden opportunity they can seize to make progress, a situation others still view as negative and pulled back.
Sandra School is free for all in the slum and the burden of the expenditure rests squarely on management, ranging from the acquisition of space, furniture, stationary to the payment of the staff year round. The children now realize this gesture and in appreciation always recite their thank you with opened hearts and joy for all God has done. For His divine direction and protection. “We embrace and say, Thank You, Jesus, thank you Miss Sandra and thank you Auntie Joan.”  Since its inception, the school has made notable impact in the lives of the children – a situation the parents admire by their visit to the school to appreciate by simply thank you to me and the teachers. The impacts of Sandra School in Kroo Bay are:
1.    Free Education. A lot of children who did not attend school before now find themselves in school. The burden of schooling which prevented most of these parents from sending their children to school has been removed.
2.    Joy & Hope. The school has given the parents joy, hope and confidence to see their children go to school like other children do in the normal school system. They are confident that their children will be well educated.
3.    Awareness & Change of Bad Attitudes. Before the establishment of the school, the children had it that the best life to live was fighting, gambling and abusing each other everyday. The school witnessed this behavior when initially opened. The school has molded their characters by prayers and constant watch.
4.    Material Benefit (Shoes). The children and the parents are grateful to the president for their receipt of shoes before the school closed for the vacation. A lot of these kids who had no foot wears now have them.
5.    Good Health Habits. Washing hands before and after food can be observed during school hours. The soap supplied to the school is used for this purpose.
6.    Motivation to Be in School. With constant work done both class and homework and making sure the teachers see and mark (attendance) always motivate the kids to come to school. The only obstacle to this is heavy rains.
7.    The Longing to Worship God. Singing, prayers and recitation of scriptures are becoming habits. Singing praise and worship songs have replaced the children’s own community songs that do not praise God. The recitation of scriptures help them t know God’s word and improve their English Skills (poetry).
8.    The Cultures of Obedience, Love for Each Other and Honesty. The children now developed the cultures of honesty, obedience and love for each other. This is seen through the joy of learning together in class, reporting missing pencils and books to teachers and complaining offenders and ready to wait for an authority’s decision.
9.    Respect for Each Other and Authority. The children show respect for each other and authority. This was not possible because the children could do or behave to people rudely. The school has taught them the benefit of respecting others – you can be respected in turn and this can allow your stay with others.
10.    Exposure. The children are exposed to out door programmes like match pass and conference. By meeting with different people, they make new friends and realize that they are not the only children in Sierra Leone. Also, the children realize that there are other good things to see and do rather tan ‘bondo dance’ and ‘bubu dance’
In future, Sandra School is seen as a great school with structures put in place, such as better housing and improved salary structures, a lot of graduates will be attracted to the school and the children will be well motivated. In the space of two years to come, the first batch of pupils will be exposed to the National Primary School Examination (N.P.S.E) to get to Junior Secondary School.
The parents are clinged on this hope. The school should be registered with the Ministry of Education in the country to ensure confidence in the parents and the community as a whole.
Children’s Stories:
Focoh Banqura
I am Focoh Banqura in Class 4. I am 14 years old. Before coming to Sandra School, I attended the FAWE School where, due to school fees was driven from school. We used to pay a fee of twenty-five thousand Leones ($0.83 U.S.), which my mother could not afford. I used to sell cold water and mosquito coil for my mother to make a living. My father no longer lives with my mother and life is difficult for us.
Hajaratu Kamara
My name is Hajaratu Kamara in Class 4. I am 12 years old. I attended at a certain school at Kissi, the East-end of Freetown. Our house at Kissi was burnt down and later we transferred to Kroo Bay to live with my Grandmother. I longed to attend FAWE but no money to pay school fees. I used to sell cold water and foofoo to make a living. With Sandra School, the worry of fees is banished. I now love God and attend Bible School every Saturday.

Fatmata Banqura:
I am Fatmata Banqura aged 12. I am in Class 4. I used to attend at an Islamic Primary School in Kono, Eastern Sierra Leone. After the death of my father, my mother and I transferred or moved to Freetown where I attended FAWE. However, because of school fee of twenty-five thousand Leones ($0.83 U.S.), I was asked out from school and then later I registered with Sandra School. I now have the joy of not paying school fees and my mother too is happy about the school. I find the school interesting everyday.

Faithfully Submitted,
F.M. Lamin
Head Teacher

As we approached the school building, many of the words from Mr. Lamin’s letter rang in my head, most especially the words of the children themselves.

Transformed by the journey,

Pam Parish

Read my journey from the beginning:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4 - Part 1

Day 4 - Part 2

Day 5 - Part 1

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